Social Anxiety.

In just 3 short months, I will be attending graduate school full-time with an 11 month-old boy. If I think about it long enough, I can physically feel the waves of impending doom. Time management, finances, and failing at both school and home are a few hot topics for my anxiety levels. My most recent stress? Social Anxiety.

I was bursting at the seams with pregnancy at my cohorts ‘meet and greet’ back in August. I was 9 months pregnant with a 9lb 5oz baby and everywhere I went I got looks that read, “Please don’t have your water break on my carpet.” When I signed up for the meet and greet, I was in the glorious (and deceiving) second trimester, and considered myself invincible. But on the day of the meet and greet, I admit I regretted my decision to attend – and not just because a homeless man yelled, “Damn Miss, you’re huge!” on my way there.

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I’m an introvert and a room full of people asking personal questions about my baby bump was quite stressful. I wanted to slip away into the corner, but my huge belly would not allow for it. Additionally, I wonder if I’ll always be the “pregnant woman.” My colleagues met me as a mother first, and graduate student second. Will I always be known as the “mom” of the group, viewed as less serious about my career as my family life flourishes?

My university has not shown any signs of motherhood discrimination thus far, but it is still a potential stressor etched into the back of my mind. Many people still think that the order in life should be 1. School 2. Career 3. Marriage 4. Buying a House 5. Baby. I fear judgment from more traditional colleagues and professors. My partner and I did things a little backwards and I hope no one judges me too harshly for it.

Motherhood aside, I hope people like me. My mat leave has been low-key with most days lounging at home alone in sweat pants and an oversized T-shirt. I’ll need to shake the cobwebs off my social skills and remind myself that discussing poop is no longer an appropriate topic of conversation.

I know it’s painfully cheesy, but at least at the end of the day, my baby boy loves me unconditionally.

– K


Hello, my name is Kate.

I completely bombed my first year of undergrad. I failed 3 courses, dropped 1, and landed myself a modest, very modest, 43% average. In hindsight, it was one of the greatest experiences to ever happen to me. My mom told me that university success did not equal success as a person, and I could go to college, straight into the workforce, or move back home to figure life out. Her unconditional support had me thinking, “What do I want? Why am I here? Am I in university because everyone else is?” After deep soul searching, I realized that I wanted to be there, I wanted to learn the information, and I was there to better myself. I also quickly learned that grades would not be handed to me on a silver platter. I worked my butt off, taught myself how to study, juggle university course load, and more than doubled my average since my rocky start.

My passion to learn still motivates me daily. I feel as though education is the key to solving a multitude of social issues and pursuing a career in research is how I can best help others. I applied to graduate school and was absolutely delighted to be accepted into my dream program.


Shortly after applying to graduate school, my long-term boyfriend and I discovered that we were pregnant. I navigated the awkward and stressful route of telling my brand new advisor the news, and postponing my grad school start date. 60 pounds, 10 months, 24 hours of inductions, and 1 emergency c-section later, my beautiful baby boy entered the world! With the support of my loving common-law husband, and tremendously selfless mother, I will be a graduate student mother in September 2015.

My first year of undergrad was an enormous challenge, and I anticipate my first year of graduate school to be an even bigger adjustment. As a young mom, I do not have many friends with babies (and even fewer with babies in graduate school!), and my intentions for this blog are to 1) meet other parents in graduate school as we navigate this busy, stressful, and rewarding time in our lives and 2) create a sanctuary for my student-mom rants to keep me sane!

I look forward to connecting with you!

– K.